the Mighty Boss Cats

The Mundon Trees There are 28 of them in the grove, Grown to be forested many years ago, To make a knee brace for a ship, Or a door way for a manor house They stand, even now, in awesome glory Pointing skyward with eerie gnarled and twisted fingers As if, as a last gasp, pointing heavenward Away from the devilment which took their lives They hold their secrets well Ensconced in each turn and twist of a branch As daily life, over years, passed them by Absorbed in the residual skeleton now petrified Each knot and growth contorting the trunk With grotesque imagery for each voyeur As they look, reflect and concoct their own story About the Mundon Trees Stories of satanic rituals Or ghostly goings on Or of livings earned By the ancient foresters And here in the field they stay In wonderment and splendor To enthrall the passer by In the beauty of their life and death	Kismet I’d like to move forwards in time to my deathbed And whilst I was laid down awaiting my fate I’d like to ask myself 2 questions What I had enjoyed and what had I regretted? During the course of my life And from these 2 questions I could produce my charter A way of living to its full potential from now Tailored to my whims and selfish pursuit Of a life guaranteed of satisfaction But would I be the same person As the one graciously answering the questions For the person I am now, is not necessarily how I would be If life were so easy, guided by my own elder hand Blows chisel the statue I am Aimed and executed by fortune and destiny And if what is inevitably decreed Was changed by a planned foresight Then I would be a different person So Instead I’d like to move forwards in time to my deathbed And whilst I was laid down waiting my fate I’d like to say 3 things I hope you enjoyed your-self and regretted nothing I look forward to living your life what ever that may be
I hate the Gym I really hate the gym but every one goes I bent down yesterday and couldn’t see my toes I’m out of breath thinking and that can’t be good When your height becomes your width I think it’s understood That you need a little help in burning off the fat Where once there was the stealth of a youthful toned cat There now is the lumber of a wild pasty bore The chafing on your thighs gets really really sore So you buy all the kit, Reeboks, short, shirt and top And get on the rower till you’re really nice and hot Run a pointless mile on a mill that goes nowhere And then on a bike, to continue this nightmare Then to the weights and lift what you can Whilst some cocky kid lifts the weight of a man Down on your back and do sit ups to your knees And then stand and stretch now that bits a breeze Then get slowly showered and pack your kit away Only to do the same thing the following day End of the month and your weight’s the same amount But you’ve lost 30 pounds to the gym’s bank account	Imagination whilst being told off Don’t get angry get even and use your Imagination Use the gift of thought to ridicule your persecutor Imagine them naked with a dog lead on Being chastised like a naughty Pup Imagine them sat on the loo with Monty’s Revenge Or with their head half shaved, wearing a thong tight up their bum Imagine them being stabbed in their buttocks With a sharpened pencil by a dominatrix At the company’s expense in a dungeon In a hotel on a business trip And then Imagine people finding out!!! Imagine the lack of respect they achieve By their management lack of style Imagine that person dressed as a clown With a big red nose and an exploding car Whilst they rant and rave in your view And you with a custard pie in your hand And when you listen to your dressing down Imagine being a hero in a world war movie Bucking the trend and saving the day Disobeying orders for the greater good of mankind You know you are right and they are wrong And when they’re finished and you’re suitably chastised Remember to never forget to order the staples again
Jigsaw Puzzle When you are a child you often do jigsaws And you struggle through frustration To compose the idealized image On the lid of the corner broken box. When you are an adult your life is a jigsaw And you struggle as a child To compose your own idealized image In the mind of your own corner broken box Pieces are chosen and discarded With frequency, annoyance and love As you struggle to find the ones Which complete the collage your life will be You fight for pieces with other people You lose pieces to other people You try hard to live with ill-fitting pieces And sometimes you just start again And slowly but surely a picture emerges Until one day the picture is complete But is the sky too blue, grass too green Are there any pieces so ajar, that they look and feel awkward? Uncomfortable to exist with, is there a possibility of Improvement? Do you envy someone else’s picture? Is it only a small part of theirs you desire What happens if you lose a main piece? And a hole appears in your life What happens if……………… No ones picture is ever complete And as each picture is reevaluated As fresh pieces are revealed The struggle continues as it always will For you are also a part of many pictures As friends, relations and lover Find comfortable jigsaws to exist in And you may have found your own	Time I really enjoyed yesterday it was fantastic But sometimes you do annoy me It’s just the way you are And the way I am It’s the small things, which irritate me And because we are close I can tell you, we’ll argue But I can tell you Because we live in comfortable tolerance Gelled together with common blood And you a sense of responsibility for me I take and only give when it suits me My being is your reward My success is your reward Your pride for me is sometimes embarrassing And sometimes I cringe I will not enjoy tomorrow, because you’re not there Nothing will annoy me more than your absence It’s just the way I am And the way you were On reflection the small things were miniscule And because we were close I feel so guilty Why did I need to argue? When we could have talked You lived in tolerance I lived in expectation You lived for me And I forgot Your being my parent was my reward I didn’t collect it until it had gone Your pride for me is missed Your pride for me made me excel and now I am lost You have taught me To live as if tomorrow is today And appreciate the importance Of the present
Nobby I smile a lot these days Cause they’ve not found the body Its hidden under a garden Gnome And his name is NOBBY Nobby keeps an eye for me As he’s my bestest friend I used to have another But he was just pretend Nobby knows my secrets But he don’t rule my fate Cause he knows the consequence Of grassing up his mate He could also end as well In a very shallow grave Along with the other gnome, His name was Dave Dave stared at me one day In a very peculiar way So I shot him with a potato gun Just blew him away Nobby helped me bury Dave He was very very cool I think he’s done it once before He’s certainly not a fool You know he looks very odd at me I think he’s slightly mad I think he’s quite evil He’s sadistic and he’s bad So if one day I go missing And Nobbys got a smile Just look around the garden For a very very big pile	My friend You are my friend and I am yours We should appreciate each other more And we don’t We just expect because we’re friends And often we take for granted We need to help each other more We need to thank each other more We need to say sorry when we’re wrong We need to be strong when we’re right We need to understand more We need to give each other space We need to let each other breathe And once we do this our friendship will grow Neither of us are perfect but You are my friend and I am yours forever Thanks
You are what you are Why am I trapped in this body? Its fat and its hairy too With no definition in the muscles And no hair on my head .boo hoo I look more like Homer Simpson Than Homer on a very good day Its just not fair, it’s not cricket I just want to hide away Were so conditioned to be beautiful To have such chiselled out looks My mouth is long and narrow In fact, a bit like Donald Ducks My Bum has always looked big In what ever I choose to wear Which I have to do as a consequence Of not looking good when I’m bare. Having said all that I admit And it certainly aint a rumour That I’d prefer to be as I am With a great sense of humour !!!	Depression Think in Black and White Take all the colour away Take away all the hopes and happiness Every single day Think that you’re worthless Take self–esteem away Take away all ambition Every single day Think that you’re rejected Take anger to extreme Take away all reason As life has no scheme This is what it’s like When depression takes a hold You feel no warmth from anything Everything is cold So don’t expect me to smile my smile It’s nothing to do with you My smile will return soon enough On the day I breakthrough
Affairs Why do we not think before we open our hearts and minds? And guard ourselves a little more closely Why do we resolutely subscribe to happiness? Without fear of the mental anguish it may cause Is it because happiness is a fleeting feeling? Here today and gone tomorrow We grasp at it with such abandonment Because it is such a rare occurrence We feel trapped and isolated in our castles We strived so hard to make The emptiness they were built to shield us from Creates a jail of responsibility and commitment We look at ourselves and see a stranger Who listens to no rhyme or reason? Carried along in a tidal wave of compliments And a shared sense of injustice We met we enjoyed we felt complete For a brief hour in a life time We shared something wonderful When life stood still We learned a little more about life in general Before we retreated into ourselves I'll always have the memory To take with me to my cell. And here in my gloomy constraint I find solitude now no longer exists My mind uncontrollable with thoughts Can happiness still exist? And you in your home life Just existing for your kin Awaiting the next fleeting hour With someone new to use	Are you a sinner too ? You know I still have a sense of my own worth Perhaps it’s unjustifiable, perhaps not I still have a painful awareness of other’s advantages And I still have a desire to have them too And my emotional excitement induced by intense displeasure Is waning but waxes occasionally when certain thoughts arise Perhaps I am sometimes less than generous With my understanding of situations I know I am lazy and have disinclination to action When I need to do things I should I know I take more than I need Perhaps it’s a siege mentality I still have the desire, craving and passion And sometimes it gets me into trouble But all in all I’m a good egg Even if you don’t think so For we all are guilty of judgment Without looking at ourselves first
Personal column!!! I’m distrustful, mistrustful and skeptical I’m jaded, faded and sarcastic I’m mocking, shocking and sardonic And on a good day I smile I’m forty, haughty and priceless I’m scornful, mournful and hard-boiled I’m mired, tired and world weary But you could make a difference I’d be trustful, trusting and cheerful I’d be idealistic, impractical and romantic I’d be funny, mushy and sappy If you could only make me happy You’d be aligned, kind and wined You’d be cheerful, fearful and sweet You’d be pretty, naïve and unsparing AND we’d make a great pairing But must have big tits	Friends Re-United “Hiya how’s it going, Remember me…Ginger?” “Oh… yes…mmm.. Hello how are you? “ “Must be 25 years or more” “Yes it is, got your name from Friends re-united” “Oh…forgot about that” “So how are you? “ “I got married had 2 kids” “So did I! Remember Mr. Dexter? “ “The math’s teacher who broke your pencil?” “Yes that’s the one” “Yes” “Well he’s dead” “Oh….gosh …that’s terrible” “Yes it is …………. Anyway must shoot Have ironing to do, may be call you again” “OK don’t leave it 25 years though!!” “No I wont!! Bye “ But they probably will
Family Cat When I’m reincarnated, many years from now I’d like to come back with a large miaow To be loved and cajoled as a big family cat And lounge in the sun on my own cat mat To live a new life, so plain and with ease Catch a scrawny mouse, whenever I pleased And slowly prowl in my stately new home Accepting strokes, wherever I roam To be oh so loved, by my big human toys Whom I’d brush against, to bring them joys I’d play silly games, with ball on string And lap their affection and their cuddling I’d control them well, with my lazy gait They’d open the door and I’d make them wait I may go on out if the weathers fine I’d decide what to do, in my own cat time I’d lounge and yawn on the double bed And stretch and clean before I’m fed And then out to play for the rest of the night And catch up on sleep when it’s nice and light So when you miss me, when I’m not around Just cast your gaze down, and look to the ground And I’ll appear, for I’ll be sat In front of the fire as the family cat	Life where’s it gone When I was 20 my dad spoke to me You have the rest of your life a head, he said And I didn’t believe him I was too young to appreciate I was full of expectations And I wanted it all now When he was 60 he spoke to me again I don’t know where my life has gone, he said And I didn’t believe him How could life be over so quickly? When life seemed an eternity Between one party to the next When my dad died I wondered where our live’s had gone And his words began to replay In the vacuous space he left So from now on I have the rest of my life ahead And each day will be better than the rest So when I get old and falter I will know exactly where my life has gone
Surgery When you’re laughter lines make you cry And your scales begin to groan And the beauty spot is a blemish It’s time to pick up the phone And call up a magician Who’ll magic you up some youth With a nip and a tuck and injection You can hide the truth He’ll sew you back together And he’ll hide all the seams Where he’s taken out the fat So you’ll look like a dream But when you’re even older And the magic can’t do its stuff It’s time to accept you’re old And you just look bloody rough	Get Lost I like big companies - you can get lost Lost in the long Spartan corridors, which all look the same And lost in the cracks which exist Between worthwhile work and pretend work You can get lost over lunch Which can last several hours And lost over an afternoon Of ignoring emails and surfing the net You can get lost in the stampede dust Of young enthusiastic graduates Whose eager youthful arrogance Hides their lack of usable talent You can get lost in thought Of the weekend ahead You can get lost in the resource count Marginalized to a number in an office somewhere You can get lost receipts Passed through finance With an honest look And a line who’s useful And you can get lost in change When things move on And then its time for the company to say GET LOST
I Hate Meetings I hate meetings they’re usually a waste of time They’re full of people who either Need to talk because they have nothing to say Or like me can’t be bothered Silenced by a growing sense of Cynicism Brought on by age and a life of troughs and mole hills Take yesterday, finance for 1 hour Resigned to 1 hour of pure tedium I looked around and then suddenly, With a growing sense of enjoyment I saw them, amazingly round and pink One of the attendees appeared to have lips Grafted on from a Fish, or so it seemed Had no one ever noticed his lips were round As if drawn by a child A perfectly formed concentric hole Excellent, I thought, something to concentrate on Work break down structures and such like All became secondary as my imagination went into overdrive I’d escaped the tedium and I’d escaped the meeting for the hour I closed my ears and watched his mouth Opening and closing as if slowly, methodically Gasping for water as he swam, in my mind Across an ocean of serenity where meetings did not exist Or at least SAP finance had not extended its tentacles I know it’s cruel but only I knew my thoughts My mechanism for coping with a Finance hour And what did the other people think of me I hate to think; perhaps they thought, "He was quiet" And I thought you’re part fish and I hate meetings	Teach me to be you I would love to be so placid, tranquil and serene To conduct myself oh so well, with a wonderful demean I would love to be admired, in every thing that I do With no disregard for anyone, with a perspective fresh and new To see the good in everything and to positively contribute To anything I was asked to do, by being so astute To throw away my cynicism and pessimistic attitude And then I’d find some calm, with the anger that’s subdued But I am not placid and tranquil; I’m the opposite of serene I find annoyance in trivial things, when it breaks up my routine And so I’ll continue to envy, the qualities that you possess And I’ll continue to hold you up, as a beacon of success So one day you must teach me what makes you what you are And from this lesson in fortitude I can leave my thoughts ajar To different ways of looking at different points of view And one day I’ll look in my mirror and through me I'll see you